Did you ever get that lonesome feeling?

I was on a day’s leave today. So that’s good news I hear you say and indeed it is. Instead of rising at 6.15am I finally surfaced at a more respectable 10am. I breakfasted late, watched the news, and checked the sport on the teletext, had a cup of tea, jumped into the shower…just general daily ablutions…no need to over laden you with the detail on that front!

And then I lift up my work Blackberry and scan my emails. I have a text and I reply to that and at that point no missed calls…indeed only two calls all day-one from the USA and one from a colleague in the office checking on some urgent work matters. I make one call to ascertain something which I never ever manage to ascertain and back about my business. A little while later my Blackberry rings and I am too late to answer it. It is from somebody in the office. I go to call back and my Blackberry won’t recognise my password, you know the safety one that locks the keypad? So you have 10 attempts at this but that’s neither here nor there when you are keying in the right one and it is not recognised! Time for my thinking cap…

So I open the back of the phone and take out the battery on the assumption that this is some sort of technical glitch. It comes on and I key in the PUK number and hey presto it proceeds as expected and then requests my keypad password again and informs me that I have used 6/10 attempts. Getting antsy and tense at this stage…so I say to myself just be calm and you will figure this out. Now the Blackberry gives me a prompt to type in “Blackberry” which I do over and over but the keypad starts doing its own thing and numbers become letters and there is just no way to get it to work… and next thing you know I am at tipping point when it says 9/10 attempts-if the next one fails everything will be wiped!!! Mood not improving…

So I lift the house phone and call the office and get a message to IT. Somewhere, somehow the message gets lost and confused in the telling and I get a call back saying to key in the following number etc and you should be able to reset it. I do this and a little time bar appears saying “wiping” 10%, 20% until I am presented with a Blackberry no longer synced to the server, no contacts, no email, no photos, nada, diddly squat all vamoosed!  I feel the blood pressure rise; I am beside myself with anger; I am feeling lost and as equally angry at myself for being stupid enough to do this; not to mention being so irrationally upset about a phone. So there I was cut off from everyone I knew- it was my own little very belated Y2K! Happy Friday Jimmy!

So in the course of a series of panic calls to IT I find out that the data is irretrievable. Surely it must be out there somewhere. If I was a murderer or a gangster or a member of some high risk terrorist group you can be rest assured that somebody would have all of this info about me for me to retrieve (if you are feeling generous up there!). IT informs me that they have a new Blackberry for me in the office and ask me if my contacts are backed up. I know that that seems like a smart thing to do but I am not good around technology. My kids swear that my body holds some sort of electrical charge that screws up all technology that I come into contact with-all my phones go hay wire, the laptops break, DVD players stop running, the Sky Box is temperamental etc etc etc .So I assume all contacts lost forever.

In a desperate attempt to make contact with the world again I decide now on my day off that I will go online with the desktop. It is not working. I have a laptop. Not working. I have two other laptops. Not working. But needs must so I use a borrowed phone to get onto Gmail and send an important series of emails. Then I (yes me who is useless with technology) fix the desktop. Yep. I figured it out and am now typing this celebratory blog on it. Go on, admit it, you are impressed as well as feeling sorry for me for being such a loser and not enjoying a day’s leave. I also checked my work email remotely and guess what? All my phone contacts are in fact backed up. Technology can be smart! All my precious photos are lost and gone forever though-other than being viewable by the Men-in-Black only!

But I re-learned something today. Necessity is the mother of invention and hunger does make good kitchen. I learned a lot of other insightful and personal things too but those are for another day. So as the King would have crooned: “Are you lonesome tonight, do you miss me tonight…?”

And the answer: A little bit less now that I am reconnected with the universe and all of you. I hope that the spy satellites appreciate my gargantuan efforts! I am back boys! Your rest day is over too.